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If I had been able to communicate the feelings in this article which were exactly what I was feeling perhaps I could have talked to her and we would have been able to stay close.
Wow Caroline, I think this is your best yet. I feel seen! Thank you. Thanks so much for this article Caroline. It was super timely for me as a few of my close friends have recently had children or are expecting soon.
Thank you for putting words to this experience and validating it. This was beautiful to read. It was visceral; the chasm, the ocean ebbing and flowing.
Thank you for giving words to this experience. Love the article. Is it just a personal preference? Hope that helps!
The use of the terms childless and childfree are interchanged in this article, and they have a significantly different meanings in some communities.
Childfree people are those who choose not to have children; childless people are those who were not able to have children due to myriad circumstances.
For one reason or another, the dreams, hopes, and expectations of motherhood never happened and it can be a very real, devastating, significant loss and grief that rarely gets acknowledged in our society.
And may cause deep chasms in friendships for many complicated reasons. Caroline, I love your writing. This piece put everything I felt in words. This beautiful post fell on my lap just I was thinking of how much I miss my dear friend.
I wait patiently, kindly, lovingly, giving her time and space to settle into what must be something so challenging. I admire the transition, the growth, the strength, the love, care, and nurturing she provides for her baby boy.
Oh, how I miss her! Caroline, you have a gift! Spot on, Caroline! You put into words beautifully and poetically.
I sent it to my husband we have been married 11 years and have no children as of yet. So I started throwing parties for my girlfriends to celebrate other landmarks in their lives, like landing a great job, acquiring property or coming out to their parents.
This right here is me as a whole. I chose not to have kids. I live mine and they live theirs. I send fun cards with my cat baby and I have fun parties with and without kids.
I adjust the right enough not to count them out but enough to keep my own identity. Is it hard when it comes to a significant other feeling the same and not being sucked into the whole you are nothing until you have five kids and a house?
I felt this from the other side, first of friends to have children. There was no understanding of the huge change of lifestyle, tiredness, responsibility.
Made to feel guilty for not carrying on exactly as before. It was a really hard time. Any changes that set you apart from your current flock can feel like this.
I babysat my friends kids. I never had any but after those experiences I was just fine to go home to my cats??
I am childfree by choice and going through a phase where literally ALL my friends have babies or have a baby on the way. It is extremely difficult to understand their world and they have somehow forgotten mine.
Your article is so beautiful and really did make me feel like I am not alone. I think part of it as a new mom, from my experience, is not putting yourself as a priority for months to even years.
When my son turned 3, I woke up, came to and missed the crap out of my buddies- especially the childless ones.
I had left texts in mid-sentence with some of them! For weeks. The most important thing that I learned from it is we need our friends, early and often.
Thank you, Caroline, for this post that resonates with me so very much! Within a year and a half long period, five of my close girlfriends became pregnant.
I have had a really difficult time accepting my new relationship with my bff. She was like a sister to me. We used to talk all the time, see each other all the time.
I was her MOH and made sure as she approached each big life moment I was there to make it as special for her as possible because I loved her and she deserved that.
When she told me she was pregnant I cried, thrilled for her and her husband. I gave her space but also told her I missed her and would initiate plans.
I started to realize that little by little, she was retreating from our friendship. Fast forward 20 months and we barely speak.
I started to realize if I did reach out, she never asked about my life. All conversations revolved around her and her baby.
When I got engaged it took me multiple days to even get in touch with her to tell her my big news. I mourn for my friendship and for my sister.
This has all made me think a lot about what kind of friend I aspire to be, with children or without. Your posts always get me right in the centre of my chest.
Thank you for that lovely essay. This was a beautiful read Caroline! It makes me crazy that you can write a line like this and it can be true so fucked up.
To assume without asking or knowing — and how lonely that makes me feel. Thank you again, for this beautiful piece.
I can totally understand both sides — beed there, done that. But also according to my experience, if there is thoughtful empathy and honest communication on both sides, it is totally possible to maintain a friendship without the feelings of frustration.
Love this post. One thing I do need advice on, is how to do conversation with friends while their toddlers are around. But I feel like I never get more than one or two very short and basic sentences in before the toddler interrupts and the parent loses all train of thought.
Do I just have to accept that time spent with my friends for the next few years will always be shallow small talk and topics that will keep their attention for one or two moments at best?
I understand your frustration. Imagine trying to cook dinner, schedule an appointment, think of a solution to a problem, and yes, enjoy a conversation with a dear friend, but being constantly interrupted for literally hours a day, every day, for years.
Have compassion for your friends who experience this interruption literally all day, every day.
Bring wine when you come visit. Come after the kids go to bed, or ask your friends if the kids can watch a show for a bit.
Be patient! This is a short time in life. My 3 year old is already more socially aware and it only gets better. Personally, I find what works for engaging conversation is that many friends arrange for a sitter or ask their partner to take watch leaving us to head out and give each other our full attention.
Shelia, I hope you never under up unexpectedly pregnant. May the compassion and empathy you have for the moms in your life only be returned.
But with that said, it happens. Try asking your friend for quality time, directly and compassionately. I am 48 single and without children.
I grew up in an Italian family, 1st generation everyone was together all the time— grandparents, grandchildren, aunts, uncles, married, single.
Sounds like you are so much better off. I am the only one of my female friends who remained child free. But thankfully, we all got through it fine.
I got to play glorified aunt. My best friend and I continued to hang out weekly while they were toddlers. Much less once she had to drive her kids everywhere… but once they started driving, we started hanging out more again.
Both sides of this have adjustments but maintaining a friendship is worth it… and if you are fortunate, once the kids are young adults you have even more friends — and exposure to another set of eyes, through a much younger generation.
I was childless. I think part of the emotional distance that grows between friends with and without kids is due to how extraordinarily difficult our society makes parenting.
Those of with children are silo-ed in our nuclear families, cut off from older and younger generations, and the normal family connections that spread the burden of child care.
Mothers also mostly work now. There is so little of us left over for anything else — even something as life-giving and essential as friendship.
Everyone is strapped for cash and time, but that increases exponentially after parenthood. But I do wish we lived in a society that gave everyone more support and time to thrive.
Daycare is subsidised, parental leave is a thing and so on. My kids have places in their hearts, they are hosted for weekends, give them great advice, and can fawn over them in a way I sometimes forget to do.
I agree completely with this comment. I wonder, also, how much of it has to do with with American parenting culture these days. Can you be a helicopter parent, work a full time job, and show up for your friends?
I agree. This reinforces the idea we have to achieve something to be celebrated. Managing to exist, be content and think of others in a kind way, is enough of an accomplishment.
This is exactly what I was thinking. Totally agree, Maiko. The excessive celebration has always rubbed me the wrong way, it seems to performative and consumeristic.
Plus— reciprocity. I agree with you Maiko. I think some of the things that Caroline expresses have a lot to do on how the Americans live their lives.
I could totally relate to that article though although I do live in northern Germany. Also no yearly cards with the grown and smiling children in my inbox.
And at first I felt really sad and feared to become quite lonely. But after a while I realised that this is an opportunity to make new friends who are in the same situation and free to go to social events.
Instead I would have the energy to engage with their child without expecting to have long, intimate conversations with my friends. In many ways, having a new baby is like having a long distance relationship with yourself, and it takes time to find a way to combine your old and new self.
I have three children and my best friend since childhood has none. It has made our friendship richer and deeper, and I am so grateful that we both kept at it and maintained our friendship in those first hard few years.
One who used to be one of my closest girlfriends has three children. Since the birth of her first child in , I have seen her a total of one time without one of her kids in tow.
I feel like women without children are far more marginalized than the pro-mommy world we live in. Was it an accident? But so it goes.
Nothing is perfect. Everyone feels excluded in some capacity. Show compassion towards others with different choices and priorities.
People put their foot in their mouth. And seeing ourselves in your voice is a gift. I am a single mom of one who recently re-entered the dating arena one decade following the start of my last relationship and two years following the end of my marriage.
Uncharted territory this is as I am currently the sole being in this boat, paddling along in this vast ocean we call life.
It has been both immensely lonely and exciting at the same time. What I have learned and what I deeply believe in based on my experiences thus far is that when we expect those around us to follow the same traditional and charted territory that society has dictated for us, we have lost sight of who we are as individuals.
As a mom I make a daily effort to try to not lose sight of who I was and am as a person. I am not living my life for my son.
I am living my life with him, and from what I can see he is loving every moment of it. I applaud you, Caroline, for your choices yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
This post had a profound effect on me, and for that I thank you! Let them decide whether or not they come. Those are the bridges that keep our friendship alive and a whole lot of us will gladly take them!
I agree! So sure, if you just stop inviting your childfree friends, all your friends will have kids… sheesh. We would have loved to come and celebrate her little one and catch up.
This is my second comment on this post. When I was newly married in my 30s and everyone my age was having babies, I never experienced the pressure to have kids.
I actually had the opposite experience. It was really interesting the number of women that expressed this to me, even a woman who had 2 grown daughters.
My mom also was totally on board with me not having kids. I know this is not the usual experience but I wanted to share. My advice to the childfree women out there is hold your head high and have no regrets.
Thank you, Liz! I love hearing all of this. At my age of 36, very few of my friends have seemed excited to start trying for a family.
I think people put up walls about a lot of stuff. There are naturally times in life when folks will be closed off, by necessity or by choice.
My only job is to delight in my niece and nephew, and I can do that in many ways. I love the close friend who takes her little ones with us to the restaurant, so we can all fully be each other and be together, even when that includes toddler crises like Why Did Your Water Come In A Glass?!
I see the divide between closed and open. As someone without children, I resonate with this. The more time we all spend with kids, the more it bridges the language gap to which Caroline referred.
I gain some pretty cool kid-friends. And I bond even more with parent-friends. Because, as I seek to love my parent-friends in their whole beings, I want to include loving the parent parts of their lives.
This comment is so well expressed and quite frankly utterly heartwarming and inspiring. Your friends are lucky to have you.
Opening up a world of selfless contemplation for our children would hopefully equip them with a few tools to successfully navigate relationships and change.
I am so impressed with how you have seemingly effortlessly, but I bet it took work…or maybe not! I am in mid mids with a 3. Thank you so much for this Caroline.
I love this blog but I rarely comment. Caroline your piece is beautiful and so timely for me. It is so rare that this perspective is given a platform.
My biological clock is ticking ever louder. That feeling of being left behind really strikes a cord with me.
I would like to add in another perspective, and struggle, on motherhood and friends. I was pregnant with our first baby last year, at 34, and three close friends were all pregnant too, one of those women I have known my whole life, we got engaged same time, married same time etc… I pictured entering motherhood arm in arm, and felt so grateful.
Then at 41 weeks, despite a text-book pregnancy, and with no warning, our baby girl was gone. She was stillborn. The day I first saw her face, and held her, was the best and worst day of my life.
We had her funeral, we held her ashes, the months roll on by, each day is dips and peaks of grief, of unchartered waters. New challenges of love and pain.
My friends and their babies, well, it hurts. The horror of losing our daughter, it was like a lightning strike. But I still buy all the baby gifts, I send baby cards, I receive baby announcements, and I go and hold their babies and play with them, and then I go home and weep.
Being childless not by choice I felt should be mentioned on here, but I certainly agree that all good things in life should be celebrated, not just marriage and children.
And like you, I try and stay connected to my friends, despite our worlds being very different now, and its not always easy.
A truly good friend never makes you feel alone, no matter how different your worlds are. Hold those you love close, everyone xx.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Articulating so many things I have felt crazy for thinking or feeling. And I get that being a mom and having children are Big Things and change your life, but so many of my former friends absolutely refuse to understand that it is possible to have a full happy life without children.
It was shocking. Other life events have this impact on people outside of having kids. There are people in your lives who are here for a season, and people who are in it for good.
Hello from the future, Caroline! I have saved up my pennies and traveled to India for 6 months at a time, I have gone back to college twice at the ages of 35, and now at 49 as I make my way through grad school.
The truth is, the only person you need to satisfy is yourself. Do you feel your life has purpose and meaning? Done and done!
The friends you need will be there, some of the old ones will fade into the background. Maybe one day there will be a bridge that reconnects you and your old friends, or not.
What a lovely and thoughtful comment. I have to tell people i cant have kids or ill be shamed. I live in the bible belt and being childless is a sin.
I literally am treated worse tham people who lose their kids for meth. At least they HAD kids. But even if i could have kids i wouldnt because i believe the word is overpopulated.
Im making up for the ppl with 19 kids. Wow this was heartbreakingly beautiful. During my pregnancy I felt as if I were being force-marched across a bridge over a chasm even though the pregnancy was mostly planned , leaving behind all my friends on the other side and marching towards a complete unknown.
Thank you for making me feel so seen even though I might look back at my past self or my current childless siblings and envy their free time.
And I deeply treasure my friends who have made the effort to stay close despite that chasm and in my case often half a continent of physical distance.
Thank you for this honest, thoughtful, beautiful post, Caroline. For months after her wedding, I felt like such an afterthought and like she had really changed.
Oof, this was difficult to read! I am the first in my friend group and in my family to have a baby and it has changed me and my life in so many ways.
I think my friends and sister have handled all of my changes so graciously and generously. Its helpful but also makes my heart hurt to know they are probably struggling through these changes silently.
A beautiful piece…I have three grown children about your age, Caroline. I see them as wonderful men and women who enjoy their lives and partners and accomplishments.
And I have said to them time and again that children do not define them. Their contentment defines them. Not happiness. Because happiness is fleeting but contentment is a constant.
And as their mother, all I want is for each of my children is to have a journey in this life of contentment and gratitude.
That journey is defined by where their hearts bring them. And my heart will follow along, applauding them each step of the way. This is wonderful.
Ebb and flow is such a perfect description of friendships after babies. Thanks for this! I found this post so deeply meaningful.
As a childfree, 38 year old woman I do feel so left behind, even though my lovely parent friends still include me in their lives.
I struggle with not seeing women like myself represented in media or even in my own social circle, so it always helps to feel less alone.
Thank you for such an honest essay. It can be lonely! Well written! Every time I see a post on motherhood I cringe a bit as I have been unsuccessful after years of trying.
It certainly hits close to home. So it makes me want to reach out less, and then we grow apart. A common theme that I see is a general lack of communication about expectations and hopes for friendships.
Can we make plans to hang out at a time when someone else can care for your baby? I have these conversations all the time with my spouse.
Maybe because friendships can take so many shapes and sizes, so it feels extra-vulnerable to articulate your hopes or expectations for the relationship.
Yes to everything about the first paragraph — happened to me tonight and I just KNEW the plans would get cancelled. It encourages me to remain mindful and appreciative of flexibility and persistence in keeping plans because we parents benefit from a social life, too.
On a likely sleep deprived note, it took me scrolling past and glancing at the article picture three times before I realized it was of baby dolls, not popped popcorn…?
This was heartening to hear, but it seems a bit of an echo chamber. Are these comments moderated where no one can express an alternative point of view?
Believe me, I used to go to them and every single time I would get sick afterwards. Even just visiting some of my friends with their kids, I end up sick.
This is just the card I was dealt. On that same note: I have nothing but respect for the mothers out there who manage having children with these diseases.
Thank you for writing this post. This is so beautifully written Caroline. And so many great comments as well! I would like to stay up all night to read them all.
As a woman in her mid-thirties, happy in a relationship, who has chosen not to have children this post made me feel so supported.
I love my quiet weekend mornings, traveling with my love, and being aunty to so many little ones. Every day I feel more confident in my choice not have have children but I can feel isolated and judged by other women at the same time.
Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone. Our choice to have children, or not to, does not define us as women. My goodness — THIS!!!
The Christmas cards, the expensive shoes — you nailed it. I find it a little dramatic and self-important. I saw good friends get married, have kids, and everything that goes along with that.
I made different choices. Later in life, I had a baby, and now I see things from another perspective. I think it is part of being human in the 21st century.
Far from it. Certainly not the choice! I also understand this is not always about choice; some persons cannot have children, when they wish they could.
I honor all those experiences. Marriage, new careers, kids; they all shift the perspective of the woman experiencing them. Life is no cake-walk no matter where you land.
Friends can also move away, take a demanding new position at work, start a new relationship, experience an illness.
As someone with 3 close friends who had babies last last year, I understand these feelings so well. I appreciate the perspective written from someone other than a busy, overwhelmed new mom which is also important and valid!
Thanks for sharing this Caroline. Count me in as another reader who can completely relate and is grateful to see this perspective shared so eloquently.
It was, at times, sad and frustrating and isolating. And yes, I felt like my accomplishments big new job, promotions, buying a house felt insignificant compared to kids.
It actually still bothers me a little bit. Depending on how old the kids are I usually suggest an outing that includes them.
Their mom and I might have to talk in 5 minute bursts in between bathroom breaks, tantrums, and demands for food but I think the main thing is to hang out with each other.
Errands are a good standby for get togethers. Or if the kids are really small I offer to bring take out and we get together at their home.
Adult drinks optional. Plus, this is off the topic, but when you have to care for elderly parents you start running into similar problems.
The main thing is to keep trying. Even if its a few texts a week or a half hour grocery run you can still have fun together.
Caroline, I loved this post and it is such a good reminder to me to continue to reach out to those friends without kids and include them in my life.
Riye, I really appreciate your comment and suggestions. Figuring out ways to make it work is the key to keeping these friendships in tact.
Like many, I work long days at a busy job and am exhausted at the end of most work days. This does not mean I love her or her child any less — it means I have interests and needs also.
Just another piece of the puzzle yet one that is equally valid…. Thank you thank you thank you, for articulating this. Can someone who is childless ever just have their own emotions about it.
Why is it always less than how a parent feels? I should know better than to read comment sections. I read this and just took a deep breath in and out….
This is the thing I wish people understood. This came up at my book club a few months ago. I had to ask the rest of the group if they get asked about their parental status by Uber drivers.
This happens to me all the time and I find it such a bizarre and personal question to ask a stranger.
I have to wonder what it feels like to be a man. I cannot imagine that as many men my age are asked if they have kids. Why is this a default question of women?
I can relate. Where I live everyone has kids and wants kids. They think everyone on the planet should have kids. So they tell me all the time to my face that i have no purpose in life and my existence in life is pointless just because I never want to be a mother.
I also make it clear that not everyone on the planet will have kids and they need to accept that. I have lived in the same state since and my choice to never have kids has never been celebrated and no one has ever told me they respect my choice.
This is so beautifully written, Caroline. Thank you for writing this—for your authenticity, and for the hope you elicit about friendships! Thank you for writing this, Caroline.
I always enjoy your pieces but this one is my absolute favorite. I feel so seen. Some friends who also became parents at the same time as me, turned out to have very different values that became more apparent when kids entered the picture.
Some non-parent friends refused to acknowledge the enormity of what having kids does to a person, a marriage, a life. New parenthood can be especially lonely and jarring for the people going through it.
I encourage anyone to stick with your new parent friends despite their flaking and consant colds. They need to be seen as people and parents.
And in the scheme of things, the new parent haze is extremely hard, yet incredibly fast. Also, maybe we should stop thinking of friends as only people our general age.
And other kids and other older people. But if over time, you realize your new parent friend is actually a jerk, no need to do the extra work that it takes to be friends with parents.
And PS as a stay at home parent, I would argue that many people think my life has no purpose or meaning.
One sticky truth is that though it seems like our society values children and families, in practice it often does not.
Thanks for adding this at the bottom. As a sahm for almost ten years now I totally agree and feel invisible to all except my kids and husband.
All in all, I believe we as women should stick together and honor the myriad of experiences we are all living. I think your last point is really poignant.
It goes both ways, and women who decide to have kids are so often not valued in that choice. I disagree. Where I live only people that have kids or want kids are told their lives have meaning and that they have a reason to be alive.
The society here only favors kids and parents! My choice to be childfree has never been celebrated and it has never been respected.
I so agree with this. And I too feel that — having chosen family over career — society values my choices very little.
Thanks for your comment, Julie! Kim- good grief! I am so sorry to read of your experience. I hope you thrive and are very happy in your new home.
Sending you all best wishes! Such a well-written post! I am about to have my first child. I am one of the last in my close friend group to do so as I decided to wait until after I turned 30 to start having children.
I watched my friends go through the new baby phase and stayed in their lives the best way I could. Even though we live in different states, every time I am home I make a point to see them.
I watched my mom and dad go through this with their best friends from high school. But after my brother and I went to college they reconnected and their friendship is strong if not stronger then before.
Life is all about the ebb and flow. I have a great career and full life, have always traveled back for weddings, babies, all the big moments even if those friends have never visited me in my new city.
Even if I was struggling mentally. When every promotion, raise, or health milestone is met with maybe an emoji, I often wonder what would happen if I did get engaged.
Would the fanfare really be that much bigger if I choose to get married over that time I doubled my income with a new job?
Most of my friends forgot. But I celebrated a year I was proud of on my own. I will continue to be a good friend and show up for the people in my life when they ask, but my expectations on how those friendships are returned have changed.
I mean they owe you one ;. I have had similar experiences. Celebrated all the weddings and babies. When I got my PhD, no reciprocal celebration. We have to keep celebrating ourselves, because we deserve it!
I can relate to this comment. My husband is older than me, and he went through this when his friends starting having kids and we moved miles away.
He would get jealous that my childless friends could make trips out to see us, and make my birthday into a special occasion. You need to save your time off for doctors appointments, and all your spare income goes straight to childcare and diapers.
I loved this post, and I have loved reading all of these comments. Such a smart, thoughtful community at CoJ! I am 37 and have been married for 13!
My husband and I do not plan on having biological children. Does anyone else have these feelings? I have a few friends that have chosen not to have kids because of the environmental impact, and I have four kids!
We just have different approaches to the same problem. Right there with you! My heart is heavy when I think about it and this is one big contribution I can make.
That feels good and conscionable to me. Caroline — thank you for sharing your perspective on this. And I so love and appreciate the tidbit you shared that you still try to maintain your friendship with another mom in the form of takeout dinners after her kid goes to sleep.
I actually love hanging out sans kid with two dear college friends both childless , who I have a regular brunch and book club with. And to be honest, even I find that the endless parade of Christmas cards from friends with kids can be a little tiring I myself refuse to send out any of these cards because they will usually end up in the trash.
With the exception of my two dearest friends, I tend to lose interest in the friendship. It feels like we have nothing in common anymore and frankly, my sincerest apologies to all the moms out there, I find children boring and tedious.
But, my aforementioned two best friends with children? I will love them and remain faithful until the day I die. I love seeing their children and never tire of hearing stories about them and will gladly rearrange my schedule to be with them when they have the time.
What purposeful things weigh the most to you? Thank you for sharing. This is a great point. I think most people have good intentions, and communication is a two-way street.
It takes such wisdom to see that! Thank you for this perspective. Now he is investigating the communications between extracellular bacteria and intracellular organelles of the host cells.
Cristian obtained his Veterinary medicine degree at the University of Cordoba and the University of Milan. During his degree he did a research internship at King's college London, where he investigated the role of GSK-3 in craniofacial development.
In June , Cristian joined the lab of Ivan Dikic as a Postdoctoral researcher to study the role of ubiquitination in cancer using mouse models.
He maintains the active research lab that enables multidisciplinary teams of scientists to study molecular principles of life and discovering pathological alterations that lead to the development of human diseases such as cancer, neurodegeneration and infection.
His efforts to popularize science in the public were recognized by the highest civilian state honors, The Order of Duke Branimir, bestowed by the President of Croatia.
Afterward, he continued his career as a postdoctoral scientist in the group of Prof. He performed different visits to other research groups, such as the laboratory of Prof.
Lloyd D. He joined the Dikic lab in September and he is currently working with Reticulons, a group of ER-resident proteins involved in membrane curving.
He is also investigating the structure and mechanism of human DNA-dependent metalloproteases and working in the discovery of new pharmacological targets for the NF-kB pathway.
Joel is a fourth year medical student. He has joined the lab in to study the role of selective autophagy in immune processes.
After the postdoctoral work, she joined the Frankfurt Cancer Institute as a staff scientist of the cellular and biochemical analysis platform.
Lina is now a team leader of the Immue Signaling program, which aims to decipher TBK1-mediated signaling in different pathologies.
He successfully did an internship in Lisbon focusing on biophysics and molecular interactions before he worked as a technician in the Paul-Ehrlich-Institute in the research group of Professor Hildt.
In Philipp started working in the lab of professor Dikic as an intern, before he officially started his PhD project in the Buchmann Institute for Biosciences in the lab of professor Dikic.
Stefan studied medicine at the University of Zagreb, Croatia, where he obtained his MD studying the role of BMP signaling in bone fracture healing.
Subsequently he started his clinical and neurologic career first as a resident at the Clinic for Neurosurgery for 2 years and since at the Clinic for Neurology at the Goethe-University.
He is in parallel continuing his scientific work at the Dr. Vigor was born in Rijeka, Croatia. After he finished high school in Opatija, he moved to Zagreb where he obtained his bachelor's degree in Chemistry at the Faculty of Science, University of Zagreb in summer Two years later he also defended the master thesis in Inorganic and Structural Chemistry at the Department of Chemistry, Faculty of Science, University of Zagreb, obtained the master's degree and two months later, in autumn During his PhD he is currently working on structural and biochemical identification of the effector proteins from Legionella pneumophila.
During her PhD research, she focused on the dengue virus-induced pathogenic inflammatory mediators through activating host transcription factors under the supervision of Dr.
Yee-Shin Lin and Dr. Chiou-Feng Lin. Following this, she joined a cooperative project of group A streptococcus pathogenesis led by Dr.
Jiunn-Jung Wu and Dr. She studied on the mechanism of defective xenophagy of group A streptococcus in endothelial cells through regulation of galectins and ubiquitin as well as the induction of LC3-associated phagocytosis.
In November Alexis joined the laboratory of Prof. Dikic as a Postdoctoral researcher investigating how phosphoribosyl-linked serine ubiquitination affects cellular functions.
There, she focused on histology for cancer treatment. Ivan Dikic's lab. After the national exam, she was working as a medical doctor at the Institute for Emergency Medicine of Zagreb County.